Friendships are complicated. In an increasingly divided world, pursuing friendships with others has become more and more complex. I’ve often wondered why some friendships thrive while others seem to be punctured by difficulty. I think the gospel is what makes the difference.
The gospel can ignite and empower godly friendships.
How does the gospel fuel friendship? I’m glad you asked.
What is the gospel?
First, we need to get clear on what the gospel is. The gospel is this:
God created man and woman. He provided everything they would ever need and only one command to obey. They disobeyed God and plunged all of humanity into sin and darkness. But God made way for humanity to be in a relationship with him again. He sent his perfect Son Jesus Christ to live the perfect life we should have lived and to die the death that our sin deserves. Because of his life, death, and resurrection, we can, through repentance and faith, be in a relationship with God.
How does the gospel become the fuel that ignites our friendships?
Pursue
God has relentlessly pursued humanity. In the beginning, Adam and Eve walked with God in the garden. (Gen 4:8) Sin separated God and man, but God promised that it would not always be so. (Gen 3:15)
God pursued a people for himself through Abraham. (Gen. 12) Through Abraham, he raised a nation that disobeyed Him and, over and over, run after idols. (Ex. 32) The Old Testament demonstrates that God pursues his people relentlessly. He seeks them and saves them even when they don’t deserve it. (Isa. 46: 3-4)
How does this apply to friendship? Christ-followers have experienced the relentless pursuit of God. We know that on a given day, we are not worthy of our savior. Yet, God never turns away from us. He pursues us still. He longs to be with us and have a relationship with us.
So then, as those who have lavishly experienced the pursuit of God, we can pursue friendships with others.
Gospel-fueled friendship pursues others intently because God relentlessly pursues us.
Love
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16)
We all know this famous verse, but how many of us think of ways to apply it to friendship?
It cost God everything to love us. He loved you so much that he gave his only Son for you. When we experience this love, we can turn around and love others deeply. We can be patient, loving, kind, merciful, gracious because he has been this way towards us.
Gospel-fueled friendships love out of the overflow of God’s love.
Forgiveness
This is the greatest gospel truth: God slew his own Son so that you would receive forgiveness for your sins. His forgiveness is a gift you can never earn or buy. Because of sin, we can be sure that we will sin against our friends at some point, or they will sin against us. And the remedy for that sin? Forgiveness. Your sin is first an offense against a Holy God, so we run to Him in repentance and ask for forgiveness. Then we turn to our friend and express our repentance and ask for forgiveness. If our friend has sinned against us, then we remember how much God has forgiven us, and we extend the same grace to them.
Gospel-fueled friendships forgive because God has forgiven them first.
Most of us pursue a friendship with others because we have something in common with them. This is not a bad thing, but Christians can pursue others because we have experienced the life-changing effects of the gospel and we want others to experience that as well.